AND BUT AND AND (the challenge)


“It was awful and I felt so bad but I went to the office in Valletta and I presented all the documents and they didn’t ask me for additional information.”


Sometimes there is nothing seriously grammatically wrong with a sentence, paragraph or essay however, if it were for test purposes, it wouldn’t score very highly. There could be a number of reasons for this so I’ve decided to show you one of them. First, take another look at the extract I put above. Spelling, grammar and punctuation are perfect. Yet, marks have to be deducted for repetition and use of beginner level linkers – AND / BUT / AND / AND. To the person reading or listening to the story, it becomes quite boring.

There are many ways the above sentence can be rewritten. Ask two or three other native speakers for their version and you’ll get an equal number of different results. Before I give you (one of) my ways, I challenge you to come up with a more interesting structure. Go on, you have 5 days from today to write in!

 

 

2 comments

  1. Nadja · · Reply

    Since it was awful I felt so bad, however I went to the office in Valletta to present all the documents. Luckily, they didn’t ask me for additional information.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve put another version in the Answers page. You’ll notice that I interpreted the first part differently but grammatically yours is just fine.

      Like

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